Marriage and Children

MARRIAGE AND CHILDREN

In this YouTube video, a Nepali journalist is heard asking a celebrity beauty a single question, repeatedly as if he is singing a typical Nepali folk song; and the question is, 

'Why are you not going to get married?'

It struck me why this question is so important for this journalist and not for the lady because she kept on telling him it did not matter much to her and she was not interested in it at all.

What is a marriage?

As far as the Nepali society is concerned, a marriage for most women is actually slavery. They leave their virgin liberty behind and accept slavery in which they neither own any property legally nor are entitled for wages for the work they do at their so-called new home. 

Parents and relatives exert tremendous pressure on marriageable girls as this journalist in the video mentioned above does and the weak headed give in with little opposition. Few have guts to oppose; so they easily accept the traditionally prescribed roles of daughters, wives, mothers etc at the expense of their personality. But personality cannot be sacrificed for parents, husbands, children and other members of the society.  

A marriage is a social phenomenon. Without marriage, they are a beloved and a lover in relationship which is fluid, alive and flowing. As they cannot take each other for granted, they have to keep doing up their love each moment. 

But what happens when they get married? 

It becomes a legal affair now. And along with law, things like economics, politics and society get entrance into love. Love is a very private affair between two persons and marriage is an exposed public phenomenon. The relationship is no longer a natural one but has become artificial and clumsy. As soon as they become husband and wife, they have certain functions and eventually these functions or roles will become so imperative that love is displaced. The joy and the liveliness of love is gone. 

In every marriage, each partner tends to take the other for granted and their minds start dominating. This politics of the mind poisons the marriage. With legal and social support, they think their relationship is never going to break up. but soon, love disappears and hate takes over. Life becomes so poisoned that each starts longing death to the other. This often happens in a so-called love relationship too where the partners are not very conscious. Peace, bliss and joy disappear. 

How can one live in this way one’s whole life?  

It’s not that everyone is doomed to live that way. It’s possible to live differently in love, joy, peace and bliss but one must become very conscious. Both the partners can help each other to live a fulfilled life. Once both of them attain higher consciousness, having children can be no problem. If both are conscious of everything they are doing, saying, feeling and thinking, they can also be conscious during lovemaking. They can make it meditative in full awareness. It’s possible to invite a higher soul to be born as their baby in awareness. Unconscious lovemaking can give birth to low grade souls and that can be a great trouble for them in life. Have we not seen some babies born handicapped and sick? Whose fault is that? Because we are not aware of many things about life, we use the word ‘fate’ and avoid responsibility.  

The first thing to consider for having a baby is what to do to invite a higher soul to be born as your child. The second important thing is to know what a mother has to do to construct the right emotional and physical health of the baby before it is born. A pregnant mother is not one person but two. There are two souls in her body and every feeling and emotion affects both. If the mother becomes angry during pregnancy, it’s likely that the baby she’ll give birth will grow up into an angry person. Sometimes a pregnant mother may become angry without any seeming cause. This is so because the soul she is carrying in her womb is of that type. So you see, a lot of preparation is needed before you can have a child. 

A meaningful and fulfilled life is one which brings progress in consciousness. Husbands and wives can help each other to attain this. Lovemaking can be employed to transform sex energy into spiritual energy. You can stop the downward and outward flow of sex energy through effort and practice. Sex energy can rise upwards and activate her glands releasing tremendous energy and power in her. It’ll help her attain her soul. This relationship will be now a relationship between souls and hence spiritual. A child born through spiritual union between the mother and the father will be different from the one born through sexual or animal love. Most babies born today are without planning. That is why the present day world is so chaotic and devoid of order everywhere. 

If our love relationship is based on instinct, it is biological and hormonal. We are at the mercy of chemicals that are called neurotransmitters. It is animal and the lowest. Love as a quality of being for one and all is human and love not just as a quality but you becoming love itself is divine. The last stage can happen only when we become fully aware i.e. we are in meditation. This love will have the power to fill us with inner light and we will have attained divinity. A divine soul can be attracted to be born as our child now. A Son of God is born only through a Mary.

Another important thing to consider about marriage is the exchange of sex energy in order to bring balance between male energy and female energy existing disproportionately in one's body. This balance is liberation. That is why widows are not allowed in a selfish patriarchal society to marry again. She brings her late husband's energy with her. Why not this applies to a widower is anybody's guess.

Women in a patriarchal society are often maltreated as if they are commodities. An ignorant husband can turn a woman’s life into a hell. Newspaper reports conform that husbands beat and torture women. According to a past newspaper report in Nepal, 25 university graduate women in a conference declared that they were abused physically and mentally by their husbands for dowry, fashion, phone calls from men, speaking to males, inability to satiate sexual lust of the husband etc. Laws don’t help much and marriage is there to be saved. Some commit suicide and many are murdered, all because of marriage. Marriage is as much hateful as the family based on it is. 

Love liberates while marriage enslaves.